Affairs create division, which you have undoubtedly found out. Now, your relationship is split—into the marriage you had before the affair and the marriage you have now. Perhaps you have realized that the time before was something spectacular, that you shouldn’t have succumbed to temptation at all. Even if things weren’t perfect, betraying your wife has left you both broken. How does a husband save a broken marriage after infidelity, you ask?
In order to save your marriage, you must actively work to change your relationship for the better. There is no going back to the way things once were, but you can heal the pain you caused and move forward together.
Here is what you need to do to save a broken marriage after infidelity.
End The Affair And Take Responsibility
If you want to heal the marriage, end the affair as soon as possible if you haven’t already. There should be no contact with the third party. None. That means avoiding all face-to-face meetings, too. If the other person tries to contact you, tell your spouse about it.
Secondly, you have to take responsibility for your actions. While infidelity is often a symptom of something wrong in the marriage, you were the one that betrayed your partner for life. You betrayed your vows. Do not blame your wife for what she didn’t do for you prior to the affair.
Atonement begins with saying, “I’m truly sorry for hurting you.”
Commit To Counseling Or Therapy
Affairs are not easy to get over. Fortunately, there is therapy to help you and your spouse down the right path towards recovery. Couples therapy, infidelity therapy, and also marriage counseling all help you navigate the healing process. Finding a professional therapist near you is a huge step in the right direction, especially for the person who has been hurt the most—your partner.
It is also important to seek out someone who has been trained to manage infidelity, as this requires special skills. You can also turn to Couples Academy for online assistance with
Empathize With Your Partner
Some experts believe that the number one sign a marriage will survive infidelity is if the betrayer can empathize with their hurt partner. Being empathetic to their pain means that you understand the pain you caused. Yes, you might want to defend your actions and tell your partner that they were unloving or didn’t meet your needs in some way, but now is not the time.
Save that for therapy. At home, you need to be compassionate. Your spouse is going through emotional upheaval right now. Being nonchalant about what you did will only make matters worse, so commit to righting the wrongs.
Be Honest And Transparent
Yes, your spouse is going to want to ask one million questions all the time about the affair and who you had it with. You may lose some patience with their constant suspicions and paranoia, but that doesn’t mean you can lie about what happened. Do not cut explanations short, either.
By being 100% honest and transparent about the affair, you are showing your partner that you are trustworthy. Keeping secrets from one another is only going to put a strain on your broken marriage rather than healing it.
Sometimes, this means you are going to have to show your spouse your phone and emails at the end of the day. You will have to provide more information about your after-work outings, too. Provide whatever details it takes to appease your spouse.
Your wife or partner has chosen to fight to stay with you, to reclaim a place in your heart. They are also fighting their own demons right now. That is an act of pure love. Be sure to express how thankful you are.
Having an affair is going to put a rift between you and your spouse for months or years. Even with therapy, it is going to take a long time to truly heal. In the end, though, many married couples learn to forgive each other; they even build stronger marriages than before.
Show your partner often how much you appreciate everything they are doing for you and your family. You don’t have to shower them with gifts, but make sure you are giving them a reason to smile.
Moving Forward, Together
How does a husband save a broken marriage after infidelity? With time and compassion. Hurting your partner and breaking your vows is going to put an inevitable strain on your marriage. Yet, if you make the right moves, go to therapy, and remain transparent and open with your spouse, you can recover.
Couples Academy can help you move past the affair and recommit to your marriage. Discover tools and resources that teach you to communicate more effectively. Strengthen your marriage, and overcome the challenges of infidelity together. Get in touch with us to learn more about our services today.