Cheating doesn’t have to mean divorce. There, it’s been said. Yes, cheating is bad, and the reasons for why it happens are also bad. The outcome, however, doesn’t have to be. While it might sound a little crazy right now while you are trying to heal from infidelity, there is a chance that your relationship could come out stronger if you are willing to nurture a connection with your partner and move forward together.
Honesty Is The First Step
Your relationship is different from what it was before you found out your partner cheated on you (or you cheated on them). But are you willing to put in the work and seek forgiveness? Moving on from infidelity takes more than a remorseful apology. It is, without a doubt, a labor of love.
It is often said that infidelity is complex. There is no denying that. Finding out why people cheat and illuminating the path back to one another is difficult. For that reason, you need to be honest.
If you want to make a relationship stronger after cheating, be honest with yourself and with one another. Be prepared to face each other and ask, “Why did this happen? What was it that caused you to seek someone else?”
Honesty is necessary, because if the betrayer is unwilling to open up to their faults, nothing will change. Furthermore, dishonesty about the affair is an opportunity for appointing blame. Understand that the only person the betrayer should be blaming is themselves. While you both had a responsibility to be open and communicate with one another, the person who cheated has to own up to their mistakes and disclose why it happened.
Avoid Dwelling In The Past
Making your relationship stronger after cheating means focusing on the future, not the past. If you were betrayed, the natural inclination is to overthink the reasons, blame yourself, and become overly suspicious of your spouse. You may assume that your partner is still lying to you.
Rebuilding your relationship requires both honesty and transparency, as you know, but it also means you have to be willing to give your partner a second chance. When your mind goes crazy with assuming the worst, just remember how committed your spouse is to you right now.
The key is to focus on what tomorrow will bring and what you can do today to make each moment better.
Attend Therapy Together
Rebuilding and strengthening your relationship is going to be difficult when done alone. There is a chance you are going to have conversations with one another that go nowhere. Maybe the emotions involved make you both spiral. This is why a licensed therapist or infidelity recovery specialist should be included in the healing process.
Therapists are highly trained to look at a situation like cheating from a neutral perspective. Rather than blaming someone in the room, they ask questions and guide the conversation in such a way that you can get to the root of the problem. For example, if your husband is a sex addict, the therapist may help them work through their triggers. The therapist will help you investigate the faults in your old relationship so you can solve those problems and learn to trust one another again.
You may also choose to attend both couples counseling and individual therapy sessions, especially if the underlying cause of the infidelity is linked to deeper trauma. In the end, therapy helps you show up to life and your relationship with a newer perspective.
Absolute Transparency With One Another
If you want to make your relationship stronger after cheating, then transparency is required from both people. Transparency is how trust reestablishes itself in your partnership. Again, being honest about the details of the betrayal is important, but so is living a life where both partners feel secure. If your spouse cheated on you, then they should be transparent and answer whatever questions you have. On the flip side, you need to be transparent about your needs.
Are you going out to lunch with friends? Let your partner know. Planning a girls’ only weekend? Give your spouse plenty of time to ask questions. Did you communicate through emails and texts when emotionally cheating on your partner? Don’t question their desire to check your inbox at the end of the day or double-check the messages you have sent.
While transparency may seem humiliating at times, it counts. You have to pour yourself into creating a new relationship with one another, though.
Overcome Infidelity Together
Being cheated on is devastating, but that doesn’t mean that your relationship is over. Understanding why the cheating happened, addressing those situations in the relationship, and working together to form a loving connection is possible. While trust may be breached, you can come together after infidelity and rebuild so you are stronger than before.
By working together with a couples therapist like those at Couples Academy, you can recover and forgive one another for what has happened. Learn what it means to build a healthy relationship together. Reach out to Couples Academy today and see how your relationship can change for the better.