Even the most solid of unions can have cracks. Some of those cracks can widen until the bridge that connects the two of you crumbles. You can protect your marriage from decaying by understanding the habits and things that chip away at the foundation of your relationship. If you notice that any of the destructive patterns mentioned below are reflected in your marriage, it may be time to seek the aid of a couples therapist.
So what are the things that destroy a marriage? You may be surprised.
Talking is the best thing you can do for your marriage. Shutting down or avoiding confrontation is the exact opposite. Fighting may seem unhealthy, but it is something that is bound to happen. How you go about those arguments, though, says a lot about the health of your marriage. If you notice that you cannot communicate with a rise in tension or pointing the finger at one another, it may be time to consider visiting a therapist to learn better communication skills.
Forgetting About One Another
Many people are under the impression that, when you tie the knot, the whole dating thing is over. That is not the case. What was the first thing you did when you started dating? You put one another first. Also, those things you did while dating, like being respectful of each other’s boundaries, being polite, and engaging in each other’s interests once in a while, is just as important when you are married. You should still be complimenting one another, going out together, and strengthening your partnership.
Dishonesty is a true marriage killer. Hiding relationships, substance addiction, spending habits, or even health issues can be problematic. If you foster secrecy, you foster walls that keep your partner out. That loosens your connection and can even make maintaining intimacy a challenge.
If you find yourself saying “I’m fine” even when you are not, something is wrong. Yes, it seems like an innocent response, but the lie of being fine builds and builds until you can’t sustain it any longer. By then, your marriage will be showing its cracks.
Lack Of Intimacy
Failed marriages often stem from partners beginning to feel less like a couple and more like roommates. Intimacy is extremely important to the overall health of a marriage because it builds upon emotional and sexual wellness. It strengthens your bond, and it deepens feelings of love.
Yes, you may find that working, raising children, and all the responsibilities in between subtract from intimacy, but you should continue to nurture your connection. Furthermore, look for new ways to connect. By striving to keep the passion alive, you can prevent your relationship from growing stagnant and cold.
Let’s face it. Insecurity is part of the human condition. However, if you are tossing around manipulative comments because you are jealous of your partner meeting up with friends or spending time on their phone in the evening, it is going to tear at the roots of your relationship. Jealousy creates unnecessary tension. It may also make your partner feel like you do not trust them.
Avoiding Professional Help
Sometimes there are relationship issues that cannot be amended alone. Perhaps the two of you are dealing with poor communication, emotional flooding, unresolved trauma, and other burdens. Having a therapist—who is a trained professional—on your side gives your marriage an advantage. A couples therapist will be the gray zone between you two, guiding conversations and offering up advice that gets you working through issues that have gone unsolved for too long.
If it helps, think of therapy as visiting the doctor’s office for medication instead of visiting the ER for surgery.
Not Showing Gratitude
The longer you spend together, the more it will seem like certain tasks are just meant to be done. You may soon forget to say thank you for dinner or when the garbage gets taken out. Just because your partner does something, it does not mean they do not need to know the task is appreciated. Show your partner that you value all the things they do. A small “thanks for that” can go a long way. Returning the favor on occasion is even better.
Save Your Marriage With Couples Therapy
Marriage is not easy, but when you have the right partner, there is no challenge you cannot overcome. Knowing the things that can destroy a marriage is helpful because you can begin to recognize the issues as they arise. Be proactive in working through the problems. Go to couples therapy for an additional boost. Couples Academy has helped many married couples overcome all kinds of issues, including infidelity recovery. Get in touch with us today to learn how we can help your relationship grow stronger.