There is no easy way to overcome infidelity. Of healing the hurts that have been opened up because of one person’s actions. Infidelity can leave both partners feeling like they are teetered over the edge of a cliff. There is a lot of uncertainty going on, but if you want to save the relationship, much of it is going to fall upon the cheater. What can a cheater do to regain trust and rebuild the relationship? Today, you are going to find out.
What The Unfaithful Partner Needs To Do To Regain Trust
One of the most important things the cheater can do is give the betrayed partner time. Learning to trust you after you cheated is going to be a labor of love for both of you. Your spouse is enduring a whirlwind of emotions, keep this in mind. They know they love you, but you also caused them a world of pain that may have even caused some trauma.
If you want to regain the trust of your partner, you have some tasks to complete:
Take Accountability For Your Actions
What can a cheater do to regain trust? You must take responsibility for what you did. For a moment, cast aside the urge to blame the situation or the issues going on in your relationship. This is not the time for you to say that you felt neglected or unloved or had sexual desires that were not fulfilled. Yes, those may be real things, but you also did something of your own volition that deeply hurt your partner.
If you do not take responsibility for cheating on your partner, there will be no way for you to move forward. Your partner must hear you take responsibility and promise to do better in the future.
Taking accountability is one of the most challenging things you will do during this recovery process, but it is also the biggest, most significant step.
End Your Affair
If you have not done so already, this is the next most essential step to regaining your partner’s trust. You must call off the affair. Cease contact. Erase their information. Forget about that person. Yes, this may cause you some grief, but if you want to continue with the relationship or marriage that you have, this must happen.
You must be proactive in your apology. Saving the relationship cannot begin until you are responsible for your mistakes and work to correct them.
Sincerely Apologize To Your Partner
Taking accountability is just the beginning. You must say you are going to take responsibility for the hurt you have caused, but you must also say sorry. If you hold yourself accountable but make no mention of your partner’s upset or concerns, then you are not creating a very healthy space. You need to make your partner feel safe so that they can speak to you openly. Plus, it helps to console them, as it makes them feel valid and heard.
Your partner is going to be compelled to ask many difficult questions about the incident. They may even make you aggravated because you probably do not want to talk about cheating on them. However, this is an important part of the healing process. Your partner should not be kept in the dark. Otherwise, they will be suspicious of you forever.
Transparency—as much as it stings—is crucial. You are going to have to be open, not defensive. Be clear in your responses, even if it is painful for both of you to hear. Lies will not make anything better.
You may also be asked to be transparent in other ways, including showing your partner your social media and phone contacts. You may need to call them whenever you are late for work, too.
Commit To Couples Counseling
There is so much more you can do together than endeavoring alone to heal. Couples counseling gives both of you a safe space to communicate more effectively with one another. A professional therapist can facilitate conversations that guide you beyond the affair. You will not only learn how to talk about the issues that motivated you to cheat, you can also start uncovering the issues that make it so tempting. Most often, therapy gives you both the tools required to repair the foundation of your relationship.
By the end of therapy, you will feel far more connected to one another. So make the commitment to go to couples therapy.
Be Kind To Yourself
Regaining trust is a test of your mettle. You will have both good and bad days, and you may even lose your patience with your partner. This is natural. Until the two of you begin coming to terms with what happened, there is always going to be the question of trust hovering above you. During these days when your partner is triggered, or when you feel apt to snap at them, just remember to breathe. This trial will pass with time. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with your partner.
All of this takes time, but it is most assuredly worth it.
Build A Stronger Marriage After Infidelity With Couples Academy
What can a cheater do to regain trust? Give your partner time. Hold yourself accountable for your actions. Most importantly, apologize. Rebuilding the trust that your betrayal splintered is going to take time. In order to make the healing journey less bumpy, consider speaking with the couples counselors at Couples Academy. Our caring team can guide you through difficult conversations and give you the tools necessary for repairing your relationship. Get in touch with Couples Academy today to learn more about our services.