There was probably a time when you and your spouse were on cloud nine, unable to see a day in the near future when your differences and grievances would cause a fight. Relationships take work, however, and reality can take a toll on your labor in life and love. When things happen, be it work obligations causing you to miss important dates, infidelity, finances, or other issues, you might start to think that love has died and that it is time to move on.
However, if you know in your heart that divorce is not the way to go, then you need to proactively work to make your marriage feel right again. Believe it or not, there are ways you can bring yourself back to those honeymoon days of the relationship. You can indeed synchronize once again and start moving forward together.
Here are ways to strengthen marriage and avoid divorce:
Commit To Your Relationship
Even the small thought that you would be better off alone or would like to part ways with your spouse can plant the idea of divorce in your mind. That alone will make your marriage difficult to tolerate. You may never voice this idea, of course, but it could breed internalized resentment of what you have. In fact, you may even turn to an extramarital affair to get away from the strain on your current relationship.
Instead of this happening, commit to what you have. You don’t truly want the relationship to end, so don’t even bother thinking about it being over. Instead, turn your attention to righting the wrongs. Think about how you can fix the issues damaging the marriage, and start working on them.
Focus On Communication
There is no denying that communication is almost everything in a relationship. No matter what happens, you need to talk about it with your partner. Are you in a financial crunch? Are you having trouble at work? Did one of the kids get expelled from school? You need to discuss these issues together. Otherwise, there is going to be disharmony in your relationship. Disharmony spawns distrust and anger.
You should not have to feel like a stranger in your own home. If you and your spouse aren’t talking with one another, it may be time to seek couples therapy to get to the bottom of the
Respect Your Partner
Change is inevitable—even in people. The person you married 5, 15, or even 30 years ago is not going to be the same person sharing the dinner table with you now. Understanding and appreciating individual growth is the key to any long-lasting relationship. Yet, if you are having a hard time respecting who your partner is now, you should take a moment to realize why you fell in love with them in the beginning. If it helps, make a list of all the qualities you love about them. You may find that the love of your life has not changed much at all in that regard.
It also helps if you honor your partner by telling them what you love about them. Celebrate each other’s quirks. They are one of life’s little joys.
Talk To A Marriage Counselor
Sometimes it can be difficult to face one another, especially when something devastating, like an affair, has made your floundering marriage even more brittle. During the hardest moments, turn to a counselor or therapist, like those at Couples Academy. Speaking with a licensed therapist when your relationship is on the rocks can be the beacon you need to get out safely together. Marriage counselors and therapists can guide you towards healthier means of communication and may even be able to help you rekindle passion and intimacy in your relationship.
Marriage counseling is also useful when you aren’t having problems. Any major life changes, considerations, or traumas that you are worried about can be discussed with a therapist. Sometimes, that unbiased view can be the key to newfound success in your marriage and life.
Do Not Run Away From Difficulties
There will come a time when your viewpoints differ, or you may run into an ideological wall. It’s during these times when you have to stand strong together instead of turning your back on one another and running away. Once a difficulty is invalidated this way, it becomes hard to talk about. In turn, the issue will only grow larger in silence, leading to an eventual eruption.
No relationship is perfect. Know, honor, and respect your differences and use them to grow while supporting one another.
Compassion And Tenderness
When you are rushing around all the time between work, responsibilities at home or with the kids, friendships, and so on, you may lose track of your spouse and their emotions. You have enough on your plate, right? And they are old enough to take care of themselves. Sometimes, it is this line of thinking that causes people to grow farther and farther apart.
A sign of a strong relationship is when two people check in on one another. Moreover, you should be dedicated to spending time with your partner, as well as being patient and compassionate when they need someone to rely on. Time spent together naturally leads to tender moments, but you should also try to be spontaneous in your affection as well.
Make Time For Intimacy
One of the leading causes of infidelity in even the strongest of marriages is the lack of sexual intimacy. People crave love, especially in the physical form. Touching, embracing, and sex are desires that every human being has. To go without it is a little like torture. Therefore, if you want to strengthen your marriage and prevent a divorce, focus on intimacy. Show a little effort in extending a hand towards your spouse, holding them close, and meeting their needs and desires.
Couples That Work Together, Stay Together
Marriage is a union, and it means that you are partnering up with someone for life. If you don’t feel like true partners, it is going to be hard to keep your marriage strong and stable. Be intimate, compassionate, and earnest in your love. Your partner will follow suit. Unsure of how to proceed? Consult with a marriage counselor from Couples Academy today. Our team can help you navigate the hurdles and move toward the bright future that awaits you and your spouse.