There are an overwhelming number of therapists out there. Some are great for individual care, while others are devoted to couples therapy. But before you go printing off a list of names from Google, you need to know why therapy is important, how to find an infidelity therapist, and what to look for in a good infidelity therapist. Doing so ensures that you and your partner will be in the right hands and have a better chance of working through the effects of the affair.
Do We Need An Infidelity Therapist?
Yes, you need a therapist. Infidelity is unsettling. Affairs are damaging. Whether you had the affair and are feeling guilty about it or are the victim and caught in the aftershock, therapy is essential to rebuilding the relationship.
Infidelity causes hurt, resentment, paranoia, confusion, depression, and many other emotions between people. Even the happiest of marriages can become tumultuous and stressful after an affair has been discovered.
Meanwhile, the one who was unfaithful may withdraw from their partner, either out of guilt or confusion. Perhaps, they don’t understand why a one-night stand could affect their partner so badly.
Either way, there is something poisoning the relationship. Infidelity therapists excel at opening up avenues for you and your partner to talk to one another without judgment. You can get to the underlying cause of the affair. Maybe you can even work through past traumas together. From there, you can begin the process of healing and rebuilding.
While it takes time, having an infidelity therapist on your side dramatically increases the chances of success.
My Partner is Reluctant. Should We Visit An Infidelity Therapist?
Yes, you should still go. Infidelity is complex. In the aftermath of the discovery, sorting through the emotions and communicating with one another may feel impossible without assistance. A professional therapist who specializes in infidelity is able to put things into a new perspective for you and your partner. They can help you release your emotions safely.
The need for an infidelity therapist is even greater when children and families are involved. Therapy can help bring couples together and prevent their marriage from deteriorating further. You are equipped with a healthier means of dealing with the trauma.
The help both of you receive during infidelity therapy is, unfortunately, not something most people are able to provide. Family, friends, and even physicians do not have the skills that an infidelity therapist has; only a therapist can help you navigate the path forward together.
How To Find An Infidelity Therapist
You have decided to work together and find an infidelity therapist. One of the hardest steps is already done. Now, you need to locate a therapist who can help you save your relationship.
The steps to finding an infidelity therapist include:
- Search for infidelity therapists in your location or for an online program like Couples Academy.
- Make a list of therapists who are licensed and specialized in couples therapy and infidelity therapy. Working with couples is different from working with individuals, and you want someone who is well-versed in both.
- Either consult with each therapist on the phone or meet them in person for some interview questions (which will be described below). During this time, you see who is a good fit for you and your partner.
- Select your therapist and make the commitment to see them regularly.
There are many different resource sites that you can use to seek out infidelity therapists, including Psychology Today; the National Registry of Marriage-Friendly Therapists; The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT); and The American Association Sexuality Educations, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT).
Questions To Ask An Infidelity Therapist
Before zeroing in on the infidelity therapist you want to book sessions with, it is important to have a conversation. Ideally, you should be able to speak to your therapist without feeling judged or self-conscious. If you do not trust them, you will not be able to open up.
Here are some questions to ask to gauge if they are the right infidelity therapist for you:
- Do you have formal training as an infidelity therapist?
- What is your track record? How many couples have come to you? How long have you been an infidelity therapist?
- How many couples have seen improvement while working with you?
- Do you have an opinion about divorce? Have you ever recommended divorce?
- In your opinion, what makes a relationship successful?
- How do you know a relationship is changing or healing when you didn’t know the couple before therapy?
- What does a typical session with you look like? What approaches do you take to
The answers provided by the therapists will help you decide who aligns with your philosophies on marriage and divorce. This is important because you want a therapist who understands your perspectives, and who is not biased in any way.
With The Right Therapist, You Can Succeed
In the end, finding a good infidelity therapist is exactly what you and your partner need to move beyond the affair. Therapy teaches you to let go of anxiety and discomforts and to freely discuss what is happening within the relationship. While therapy is not easy, overcoming the challenges you face within your marriage is a truly rewarding process. But this can only be done with a qualified and understanding professional.
Couples Academy is an online service and program designed by an infidelity recovery specialist and a marriage counselor. But it is not like traditional infidelity therapy. Learn new ways to communicate and build your relationship up stronger than before. Contact Couples Academy today to learn more!