Being betrayed is such a punch in the gut that you may have trouble standing upright afterward. Everything about being cheated on is painful. The worst part is that it doesn’t matter if your partner cheated on your once or if you have been around this block before, the pain, anger, and grief do not get easier to swallow. But if there is one thing you need to know right now, it’s that healing is possible. You can stand up stronger than before. So how do you heal after being cheated on?
Here are several tips to help you heal after being betrayed:
1. Acknowledge That It’s Not Your Fault
Being betrayed by someone you love sucks. It’s simple. The feelings that you are bound to feel, though, are much less simple. People tend to feel anger towards the act and their partner. Embarrassment, heartbreak, confusion, grief, and dismay are all common. You are not strange for feeling any certain way. However, there is one feeling you must never coddle—the feeling that you are to blame for what happened.
It was your partner who cheated on you, not the other way around. People do a lot of hurtful things. Perhaps your partner can explain why they did what they did, but it’s not your fault.
2. Make The Choice To Heal & Start Over
You can choose to hold onto the pain you feel, or you can choose to heal. And yes, it is an active decision. When you have been betrayed, the easiest route available to you may be to contain that pain. To swallow it down with alcohol or other comforts. You might even feel tempted to take revenge on your partner. There are a dozen different avenues, but only one is going to bring you back to yourself and make you feel better.
So acknowledge that. Choose the path that brings you out of the darkness that you feel. Once you commit to healing from the pain to releasing the hold it has over you, you will be able to move on.
3. Get Support
Infidelity is isolating. You feel cut off from the person you trusted most, as well as your friends and family. You may feel like you have lost part of who you are. When that happens, it is important that you not only share what happened, you seek out someone to support your healing process. Sometimes, you can rely on a friend or a family member. For most, a therapist is far more reliable and unbiased.
The best part is that you no longer have to leave the comfort of your home. You can schedule an online therapy session with counselors like those at Couples Academy. Speaking with a therapist ensures that your emotions are being dealt with in a healthy way. You can learn how to reframe the incident in your mind, so you can put negative emotions to bed and heal more quickly.
If you want to stay with your partner after they have cheated on you, then you are going to need to talk to them. Shutting down when you feel hurt and ignoring them is tempting, sure. However, communication is so essential to healthy relationships. Open up the dialogue by discussing what you need to feel better. Do not be afraid to seek out the answers you need for closure either. Your partner, if they are truly repentant about their actions, should tell you everything you need to know.
Since opening up communication after being cheated on can feel like opening up floodgates, this is often best handled with a therapist on board. Couples therapy or marriage counseling can introduce a new way to talk about your needs.
5. Be (A Little) Selfish
You may be feeling like you are not enough right now. You may feel like your partner has outright rejected you, that they don’t love you. It’s normal to feel this way. That is why it is important to reclaim your own sense of self. By learning to love yourself again, you begin to heal the hole that the betrayal opened in your heart.
Be selfish about your time as you heal. Go on adventures by yourself. Invest in your favorite hobbies. Spend time with your friends. Do what you need to feel good. If it makes you smile while you’re hurting, then it is worth your time.
6. Stand Back And Assess
Healing and forgiveness go hand-in-hand. While you may not want to forgive your partner for their actions (and there are absolutely times when you shouldn’t), there will come a time when you have to ask yourself what didn’t work.
For example, were you both growing apart? Were there issues that you never talked about? If there was anything that needs to be addressed, it may be the right time to discuss these negative cycles. Whether you decide to end the relationship and move on or remain together.
Heal After Being Cheated On With Couples Academy
Being cheated on and recovering from that blow is exceptionally hard. You may feel like you will never be whole again. With time, patience, and a bit of self-love, however, you can overcome the pain and move forward. Couples Academy is here to help. Our compassionate team will support your journey after being cheated on, ensuring that you learn skills to better your relationship with yourself, so you can have a stronger relationship or marriage too. Get in touch with Couples Academy today to learn more about our couples therapy programs.