How to Stop Obsessing Over the Other Woman
You don’t want to think about her. But she’s there, in quiet moments, in the shower, at 2 a.m., in the middle of a normal Tuesday. You fantasize about confronting her. You compare yourself to her. And then you feel a little crazy for how much space she’s taking up in your head. Here’s the […]
Cheating and Love Cannot Coexist — Here’s Why
He’s crying. He’s saying he loves you, that he always has. And you’re sitting there thinking: if that’s true, how did you do this to me? Here’s the direct answer: a person can still feel love, attachment, or affection for you and cheat. Feeling love isn’t the same as practicing it. Cheating breaks the honesty, […]
I’m Not Attracted to My Wife Anymore. Porn Did That.
Losing attraction to your spouse while pornography use has become frequent or difficult to control does not automatically mean something is wrong with your spouse. Research suggests that problematic pornography use can be associated with changes in sexual satisfaction, partnered sexual functioning, and sexual motivation for some people. Those patterns can change, but there is […]
Stop Calling it a ‘Mistake’ — Why Minimizing the Affair Destroys Trust
He calls it a mistake. You keep hearing something closer to a plan. Here’s the direct answer: the word “mistake” isn’t the real problem. What it’s being used to avoid is. A mistake is something that happens by accident. An affair happens through a sequence of choices: creating opportunity, hiding it, lying about it, sometimes […]
3 Non-Negotiable Rules to Earn Respect Back
She says she forgives you. She just doesn’t look at you the same way anymore. You’ve apologized more times than you can count, and somehow it hasn’t moved the needle at all. Here’s the direct answer: trust and respect aren’t the same thing, and you can’t buy either one with an apology. Trust is about […]
My Husband Still Works With the Woman He Cheated With
He says the affair is over. But every morning, he gets dressed and goes back to the place where she still is. Here’s the direct answer: him still working with her doesn’t automatically mean the affair is continuing. But if the job can’t change right away, something else has to. What matters isn’t whether he […]
I’m Obsessed With Checking His Phone: How Do I Stop?
You told yourself you’d stop after the first month. Then after the first “clean” check. Then after he handed you the phone willingly and there was nothing there. And you’re still doing it, twenty times a day sometimes, hating yourself a little more each time you reach for it. Here’s the direct answer: You can’t […]
Coping With the Emotional Fallout of Infidelity: A Survivor’s Guide
Right now, you may not feel any relief knowing that countless couples have been split apart by unfaithful behavior. Infidelity is such a breach of trust that you feel shattered. You are so thoroughly broken after infidelity that you may not know how to survive. The good news is that there is a way. Not […]
How to Move Forward After Infidelity: Tips For Rebuilding Trust
Patience and Compassion Infidelity can cause intense emotional pain for both partners, and practicing empathy is critical for rebuilding trust. You should both be willing to listen to each other’s feelings, offer support and validation, and show understanding and compassion. Furthermore, you must be patient. This is going to be a long process, one with […]
When Love Hurts: Understanding the Root Cause of Infidelity
From a young age, the possibility of love and a happily ever after is seen everywhere. You believe that love should feel good, that it solves all the problems in the world. Unfortunately, love can hurt. It can bring you to your knees and fill you with grief. For those who have experienced infidelity, enduring […]